Vintage Horror Review: The Evil Dead (1981)

To celebrate "Ash" wednesday, I figured I'd review one of the best horror films ever made (and one of my favorites) The Evil Dead.

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New Posters for Piranha 3DD

Two brand new posters for the awaited sequel to Piranha

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Chillerama: Bringing The Drive-In To Your Living Room

Before I say anything about this film, I feel I should point out how awesome the poster is. I absolutely love when I find a movie with a hand drawn poster and Chillerama has one of the best ones I've ever seen. Movie posters are unfortunately a dead art with the use of computers and digital art these days so this one most certainly deserves some recognition. The artwork is by Phil Roberts, who is known for his 80's-esque poster designs.

Chillerama contains three horror-comedies/parodies directed by various genre directors within the frame story of a bunch of people at a soon to be closed drive-in theater that also has a few freaky things going on around it.
The first film, "Wadzilla" (directed by Adam Rifkin with special effects by the legendary Chiodo Brothers [of Killer Klowns fame]) is about a man whose mutant sperm breaks loose from his body, grows to a monstrous size and begins a deadly search for a woman big enough to please it.

"I was a Teenage Werebear" (directed by Tim Sullivan) is a musical spoof of films like Rebel Without a Cause, Grease and Twilight. It's about a closeted gay teenager who, when bitten on the ass by another gay teenager, turns into a "Werebear" when aroused by a member of the same sex. This segment contained some pretty catchy songs like "Love Bit Me On The Ass".
The next story, "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein" (directed by Adam Green), is about Hitler stealing the journal of Dr Frankenstein and using it build a monster (played by the legendary Kane Hodder) that he is sure will change the tide of WWII.
The final tale, referred to as "Zom B Movie" (directed by Joe Lynch), is what the rest of film is framed within as zombies attack and infect the drive-in theater where the previous three movies are being shown.

Chillerama is the number one most ridiculous, absurd movie I've ever seen and I absolutely loved it. As I was watching it I was trying to determine which segment was the most ridiculous but I simply could not figure it out because of how insane each one was. "Wadzilla" was a giant sperm, "I Was a Teenage Werebear" was a bunch of singing, gay, burly werewolves, "The Diary of Anne Frankenstein" had Kane Hodder as a dancing, killing, jewish monster dressed as a rabbi and "Zom B Movie" was a long tribute to every zombie movie of the past mixed with the most vulgar sexual humor you've seen.

The film was chock full of cheesy special effects and outrageous dialogue with everything from exploding heads to zombies that can only be killed by a swift shot to the crotch. It was essentially a sex-crazed drive-in nightmare on steroids that will having you laughing so hard your stomach hurts and with enough subtle references to make any hardcore horror fan love it.

I loved this movie. It was probably the most fun I've ever had watching a film and will no doubt be a great time for any fan lucky enough to watch it.

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Vintage Horror Review: Trilogy of Terror (1975)

This made-for-TV horror gem from the 70's is surprisingly not a very popular film and is actually fairly hard to find.

Trilogy of Terror is divided into 3 stories (all staring Karen Black): Julie, Millicent and Therese, and Amelia. "Julie" tells the tale of a college student who becomes unhealthily obsessed with his English professor. He takes her on a date, drugs her, takes a few scandalous pictures of her, and then uses them to blackmail her into further meetings. Soon, the professor unveils a secret that quickly end his plans. "Millicent and Therese" is about a pair of sisters who just don't get along. Soon, their therapist intervenes when things get violent and discovers what they've been hiding. "Therese" is the only story in the Trilogy of Terror that people recognize. It is about a young woman who, after a vacation, brings back a strange voodoo doll to give to her boyfriend. The doll becomes possessed by an ancient spirit and is soon on the hunt for blood.

Although Trilogy of Terror is an overall enjoyable movie, "Therese" is, unfortunately, the only reason why. The first two segments of the film are wholly uninteresting and contain twists you can see coming from a mile away. They're barely even horror stories for that matter, and will have you bored until the final tale. 

However, "Therese" is a very cool little short movie with a doll that has become iconic among fans of the cult film. The "Zuni" Doll, as its known, is a pretty creepy little guy who lets out an ear-piercing scream the entire time he's on-screen. 

So, your best bet while watching Trilogy of Terror is to skip straight to the final story and ignore the first two. While the Zuni doll is an awesome segment, the rest of Trilogy of Terror falls just short.

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Vintage Horror Review: Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)

Horror is one of the few genres where a sequel can often be better than or equal to the original, and Gremlins 2 is the perfect example of that.

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LIKE Slasher Theater on Facebook!

LIKE the brand new Slasher Theater page on Facebook for even more horror news, reviews, interviews, and features right on your Facebook news feed, plus make suggestions as to what you'd like to see on the blog (Vintage reviews, new features, whatever the hell you'd like to see). LIKE US NOW!

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Vintage Horror Review: Rawhead Rex (1986)

Rawhead Rex is one of the less well-known films that I've done vintage reviews for, however, it is no doubt a gem in the world of cheesy 80's monster movies.

A farmer and a few of his buddies discover a strange rock in the middle of a field in rural Ireland decide to dig up the thing. After countless tries, the rock won't budge, until smoke begins billowing out of it and an unholy creature is unleashed. Meanwhile, a man writing a book about ancient sacred sights and his family travel around Ireland in search of material. Soon, he discovers a church where he believed an ancient sight used to be. Before long, he finds himself a the local reverend fighting for the survival of the townspeople when the beast wreaks havoc.

Now, if you've seen a picture of Rawhead Rex himself, you're probably wondering how a movie which such a terrible looking monster could possibly be good, and thats just it. Rawhead Rex has the perfect cheese-factor to make it a classic among fans of vintage horror like myself. In fact, the poor quality of the monster actually saves the film by making it this cheesy monster movie instead of some boring horror film about gods and religion.

Rawhead Rex is definitely the type of movie to break out for some late night viewing with a group of friends and one that won't fail to make you laugh yet still enjoy it as a horror movie. It's cheesy, it's violent, and it's just a fun movie with a ridiculous monster to top it all off. 

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The Woman in Black: Back to Hammer

To be honest, I had pretty high expectations going into The Woman in Black, which stars ex-Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe and is produced by Hammer films. It appeared to have the feel of the old Hammer films about haunted houses and monsters and that really drew me in.

However, these high expectations were unfortunately not met by The Woman in Black. The film is a remake of a 1989 Hammer film of the same name directed by Herbert Wise and starring Adrian Rawlings. It tells the story of a lawyer (Radcliffe) attempting to do all the final paperwork for a woman who died in a large, strange house in the middle of a swamp in rural England. When he arrives, the townspeople don't take kindly to him for a reason that is never really explained. Strange things begin to happen in the house and he soon hears a story about a woman who died there and allegedly haunts the place.

Despite having pretty cool visuals, The Woman in Black fell just short of being a decent horror film. The plot moved excruciatingly slow and failed to really capture my interest throughout. The plot was fairly predictable and generic, and didn't offer any detail that would've kept viewers on the edge of their seats. Most of the film just involved Radcliffe walking around and looking at things in the house and was ultimately fairly boring.

The Woman in Black also used a technique that I am never in favor of: cheap scares. This basically means that throughout the film there were multiple pop out scares that ended up adding absolutely nothing to the plot. A dog suddenly barking or some insignificant object falling over for no reason or a character entering a scene unexpectedly during a completely silent point in the film. The Woman in Black was chock full of these which greatly harmed the rest of the film because of how laughable and predictable each scare became.

They say you can't take a movie out of its time, however, the original Woman in Black was just as tasteless and boring so I'm not really sure why director James Watkins chose to create an equally uninteresting remake. This one is definitely a skip.

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Chronicle: Look Ma, No Hands!

I'm back with a vengeance.
Don't call it a come back.

Chronicle is a film about a group of three high school seniors (the popular guy, the bullied loner and the sort of in-between guy) who, during a typical high school rave party in an abandoned building, stumble upon a cave in the woods and, being drunk high school kids, decide it's a good idea to climb into it. They stumble upon a strange, glowing plant-like rock that emits an odd sound and soon gives the three nosebleeds, prompting them to leave. They soon discover that they now have the power of telekinesis, but before long, the struggle for power begins to break the friends apart.

Overall, Chronicle was nothing special. The film was shot in found-footage style, as are most horror/sci-fi movies these days, but would sometimes abandon this technique which made it a little confusing. It was revealed that the character filming the whole thing could control the camera with his mind which let the filmmakers use whatever shots or angles they wanted at certain times but at others it didn't make much sense. It was effective in its use of multiple cameras including handhelds and security cameras.

Chronicle definitely had an interesting and gripping plot that kept viewers attention throughout, but it was sometimes interrupted by the cliche elements in every film about high-school (the generic bully, the overly fake and unrealistic party scenes).

The main problem I had with the story was the ending. Unfortunately I can't fully explain what about the ending I didn't like without spoiling, but I will say that the final scene was a bit too upbeat for the rest of the film and completely uninteresting. I definitely felt like there was something they could have added to make it a really great ending.

So, on the whole, Chronicle isn't the type of film to rush out and see, but it wasn't an awful movie either. Nothing special, but not a dud.


Coming As Soon As Possible: my review of The Woman In Black

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